A friend of mine recently noticed that someone she considers a good friend is having a New Year’s Eve party. She didn’t find out because she received an invitation to the party. Instead, she went on Facebook and noticed that the friend had created a Facebook event for the party, where anyone could see the details, even if, like my pal, they weren’t on the guest list. Oops!
Of course, there will always be parties we aren’t invited to, for a variety of reasons—lack of space, a different crowd, a plain oversight, etc. It’s not always personal. But when the party host doesn’t take care to be discreet about announcing a shindig you haven’t been invited to, the slight can sting.
If you’re planning a party that isn’t open to all—or at least to friends of yours that live nearby—it’s probably best to keep it private. Facebook has an option that lets you share the invite and event details only with those you have added to the guest list. Why ruffle feathers if you don’t have to?
If you’re someone who hasn’t been included on the guest list, don’t make a scene. If it’s a major oversight—say, your brother’s wedding or your best friend’s birthday party—you’ll obviously want to raise the issue. But if your co-worker didn’t see fit to invite you out for Margarita Mondays or his Memorial Day BBQ, it’s not really worth raising a stink about it. Your guard may go up, but it’s usually better to know where you stand in the relationship, and ultimately you don’t have to be best friends with everyone. And hey, if you don’t want to invite that person to your housewarming party, now you don’t have to—unless, of course, you’ve invited everyone else in the office. That would just be bad form.