A friend of mine recently went to visit a friend and her new baby. During their visit, the subject of fertility came up, as my friend is trying for a baby of her own. She asked if the couple had been planning to get pregnant when they conceived.
Her friend didn’t mind sharing her fertility story, but also revealed that she’d had a miscarriage the previous year that she hadn’t told anyone about. She had yet to announce the pregnancy, so, when it ended in miscarriage, she felt strange opening up about it all. My friend felt awful that she and her husband went through such a traumatic experience.
It also made her think about all the young couples who get asked about their plans to have a baby. This woman felt violated when people simply assumed she and her husband were simply waiting it out. At the same time, she didn’t feel like she needed to share her private health issues with others.
Whether or not someone plans to have a child is their own business. It’s not polite to pry, especially when you have no idea what the true story is.