The other day I read a fascinating article in the Wall Street Journal on the differences between male and female friendships. As a woman, I’m pretty much an open book with my friends, and so are they. We talk intimately about the myriad details of our lives, from our careers and children to our love lives and health issues.
But according to the article, men are completely different (shocking, I know!). They don’t open up about personal details or go on about their feelings on those fishing trips or poker nights.
“Our conversations deal with the doing of things rather than the feeling of things,” one man told reporter Jeffrey Zaslow.
The reporter also claimed that his good friends couldn’t recall his children’s names, while I could probably name my close friends’ children, first boyfriends and pet goldfish!
However, despite this lack of touchy-feely moments, men are good at maintaining their friendships. Research shows that men tend to build friendships until they hit 30, at which point life changes make it difficult. Thanks to the Internet, men in their 40s are now reconnecting with “rusted” friends from the old days.
Women, meanwhile, struggle to make time for friendships in their late 20s and 30s as they focus on their careers and starting families. But when they hit their 40s they too make an effort to reconnect with old pals.
The article also states that men avoid high-maintenance relationships, and 25% had a negative impression of female friendships, citing cattiness and gossip.
Perhaps there’s something we can learn from this. For example, if you and your gal pals tend to gossip about each other behind each other’s back, make an effort to direct the conversation to something more positive. Remember—if you’re gossiping about a friend behind her back, she’s probably doing the same to you! It doesn’t feel nice, does it? You can also put less pressure on your friendships. I know women who get so insulted if a friend doesn’t return a call right away, and they make a huge issue out of it. Men, on the other hand, are less needy and probably have less stress and drama as a result. Next time just put everything in perspective and be patient.
So, I’m curious… Are you still friends with your old pals? Do you have any long-standing traditions? Leave a comment! http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB10001424052702304620304575166090090482912-lMyQjAxMTAwMDEwMjExNDIyWj.html http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB10001424052702304620304575166090090482912-lMyQjAxMTAwMDEwMjExNDIyWj.html